The True Meaning of Christmas

So yesterday I experienced the true meaning of Christmas. A lady from my birthboard made a simple mistake, due to hecticness or mommy brain....She is the wife of a military man, a hard job in itself, mom of three amazing children; two of which are special needs. Money is tight in their families just like most families. But she decided that for Christmas they were going to try to get a decent picture done and mail it to family across the country (remember, she is a military wife, most likely not going home for the holidays). While packing kids and packages into the car, she somehow lost her precious pictures. These weren't just any pictures. 2 of her children have an eye disorder that is causing her angels to go blind and their eyes do not track at the same time. Well, they were able to get a really good shot of all the children. Unfortunately no one found (or turned in) the pictures, Sears wouldn't reprint them for her so it seemed like she had just lost her money. A group of ladies on said birthboard created a group and within 24 hours had gotten this amazing women a professional photographer who is donating a full day session to redo the pictures and we raised $1,118.00! This is enough to cover 3 plane tickets for a convention for people with the same disorder as her children. Due to money they have never been able to go. This completely made the spirit of Christmas flame again in me.

I am thinking that later today I may dress the kiddos up and head to church. I haven't been to church since tech school over 6 years ago. I feel as though I am missing something in my life and I am hoping that this will fill the void.

Some good news from the battle fronts...My hubby should be coming home sooner than expected!! I am so excited by this!! I hired a friends brother in law to rip up the carpet in our living room/playroom and refinish the floors. And he is going to finish all the painting in the two rooms!! That combined with the pipes bursting will make a great "remodel" gift for his return. I can't wait for him to come home. Every night I go to bed thinking he will appear in the morning...Every morning I wake up and reality washes over me.

Ryan missed yet another first in Rory's young life...Yesterday was her first time actually playing in the snow. She got bundled up just like Ralphie in "A Christmas Story" and had so much fun running around flinging snow and brushing snow off anything she could. We have barely half an inch but she didn't care. She had fun just the same. Lily is getting tooth number 6...and she is crawling everywhere!! She has even mastered crawling OVER things, like the high chair, jumparoo, table runners etc...They are both fascinated with the Christmas tree...Rory loves the ornaments and Lily loves unwrapping the presents underneath...I don't even want to know how many presents I have re-wrapped/re-taped. And Rory taking all the ornaments off...Sheesh!!

Well, I am watching a Monk Marathon when I should be sleeping...I dont want bags under my eyes for church tomorrow...Night all!

Fun Day...Kinda

Last night was a nightmare! My youngest, Lily, did NOT want to go to sleep...We fought for 3 hours....she was fed, clean diaper, had teething tablets and Tylenol (she is getting teeth 5&6 right now) and we even took a bath with that oh so special night time lavender soap stuff...yeah right...I was at my wits end...She screamed and cried so much that she woke up Rory who apparently had had just enough sleep to be hyper at 0200!! All she wanted was for me to stand up and hold her...she didn't want me to sit down or lay down...I had to stand....So she is screaming and crying, I am screaming and crying and I just felt like such a failure...I was convinced she hated me...

But she finally went to sleep and I got Rory back to sleep. We get up (after ignoring 2 different people knocking on our door this morning...sorry Ed McMann!!) and who is a bright eyed bushy tailed baby...Yep...My precious Lily. She didn't nap at all until like 2 in the afternoon...and even then it was only for about 45 minutes...So my sister gets home and we go to the park for a bit. It was an unusually mild day so I figured we would let the kids run out some energy. Rory loves the slides and boy was she mad when it was time to go. But what kid isn't mad when they have to leave the park?? :)

During the day I was able to talk to an old acquaintance from school. She is in the reserves (army) and just got married to active duty air force...who was deployed a week after the wedding. So I try to help her out as much as possible with dealing with the loneliness and the famous red tape to do anything in the military.

Rory got her nails done...She is such a diva...sitting so patiently while I clipped and painted them...she even wanted her toes done!! Girl ain't even two yet...Uh Oh...Daddy (and Papa), you better get your guns ready!! I just can't get over how fast they are growing. Lily is crawling around the house (more like dragging herself like that old dog on "family guy") and she keeps getting into the Christmas presents...Rory is so independent...We are trying to begin potty training...She loves her potty except when it is time to go. I want to get her an Elmo potty...Maybe Santa will get her one for Christmas!! Well, my lil angels are sound asleep now, so I guess I will go get a few winks in myself!!

Babies Don't Keep

Sunday was my niece's holiday pageant at preschool. It was so strange to be there and listening to our mom talk about how 20 years ago she was doing the same thing with us. In May we had my nephew's kindergarten graduation...It seems like time is flying by. Why are people always rushing to get here and there? I wish we could all slow down and enjoy life...

I woke up this morning tired and cranky. I had stayed up late the night before talking with my hubby on the webcam. By the time I got to bed, my youngest was ready to nurse, the oldest wanted to sing her ABCs to me and tell me a story. So waking up this morning was not pleasant. I always feel guilty that I am not up before my kids and that I am cranky in the morning but at the same time, I NEED those conversations with my hubby...

Our marriage has never been real stable, we got pregnant the day we got married and six months later got preggy again. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything but we are working hard at making our marriage work. I try to do the best I can with our situation that we have right now. And when I don't even notice that my oldest is able to use real words to communicate or she can identify objects...that makes me sad...

Today was a pretty good day though. Rory was really helpful around the house, picking up toys and restocking the diaper drawer. She colored me a couple of pictures and ate all her lunch (big deal for us...she has been on a hunger strike or something lately). Lily was fussy for a bit, but I discovered yet another two teeth coming in...So she was staying on the boob most the day...Fun! I love them both so much and I hate when I get snappy with them...

On another note...The water damage at our house is being covered by insurance thank goodness! They are replacing all the carpeting and a few walls. Plus repainting the entire bathroom and bedroom for us!! Yippee!! So good news on that front. Just have to call the insurance company and find out how to get a contractor...Well I suppose I will go to bed now...Maybe I wont be so cranky in the morning...*fingers crossed for sunshine tomorrow!!*

My Family

Some pics of my family

Rory

Lily

Ryan and I

I don't know what I would do without them. Sometimes it hurts just from loving them so much! I can't wait for him to be home and make our family whole again. Listening to Rory ask where her Daddy is just brings tears to my eyes. I am sad that Lily doesn't even know who Daddy is really. He deployed when she was under 3 mos old. I miss cuddling with him at night...Sometimes I resent him for not being here with us. Then I feel guilty for feeling like that...He is serving our country; something I felt I could no longer do while trying to raise these two beautiful miracles. In the end, I am sad more than anything else. Sad that he is missing so much of their lives; Sad that he hasn't seen Lily get her first teeth or learn how to crawl. Sad that Rory is missing her Daddy. There are days I feel so inadequate at handling the two of them, then feel ashamed about being mad that he isn't here...There are so many families out there who would love to be able to say their husband/brother/father/son/wife/sister/mother/daughter is deployed but sadly they are no longer with us. I love you honey!! We are anxiously awaiting your return!!

A Lil Intro To My Life

So just getting back into the whole blogging thing. A quick run down on my family...I spent almost 6 years as an Active Duty Security Forces member in the US Air Force. I have been married to a wonderful man since May 2007 who is also an AD SF Member. He is currently deployed to Kuwait. I am living with my sister in Missouri while he is gone to have a lil help with our two daughters...Rory, age 22 mos and Lily, age 7 mos.

My kids are my life...They drive me nuts but I couldnt imagine life without them. As crazy as they make me...They make me laugh even more...Without them, I couldnt get thru the day. Each day is a new adventure for them and me. Well it is late/early so i should be off to bed...